Political Science for Dummies....

DEMOCRAT



You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN



You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST



You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST



You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE



You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE



You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION



You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION



You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION



You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION



You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION



You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION



You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION



You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION



You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION



You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION



You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION



You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION



You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Bret Bennett Texas 2002

Bret Bennett Texas, originally uploaded by bretbennett.

Life in Texas, 2002

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

How to Fix The Economy

How To Fix The Economy



Dear Mr. President,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the "Patriotic Retirement Plan":


There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!!


P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress pay their taxes...

Mr. President, while you're at it, make Congress retire on Social Security and Medicare. I'll bet both programs would be fixed pronto!

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

These fixes probably wouldn't cost even one-tenth of the totals Obama is racking up while accomplishing nothing!

World

The Worlds Shortest Books.

THINGS I DID TO DESERVE
THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
by Barack Obama
________________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY

by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Michelle Obama Illustrated by Michael Moore


MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA

by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

_______________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL

by Hillary Clinton

________________________________

Sequel:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton

___________________________________

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden

___________________________________

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates

____________________________________

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman
_________________________________

THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

___________________________________

TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED, BEFORE ......
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel
________________________________

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
_______________________________________

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson
_________________________________________

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
by Ted Kennedy
______________________

MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods and David Letterman
with introduction by the Rev. Jesse Jackson

*******************************************************

AND, JUST ADDED:

Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!
By Nancy Pelosi

Uncle Pete is gone...

Well, my Uncle Pete passed last week and I wanted to make a quick note for him. He was quite the inveterate fisherman and joke teller. Lived a full life in Montana, and was a friend of many. Taught me the finer points of fly fishing - as in tie as many Royal Coachmans and grasshoppers to an 8 ft leader and just toss it out into a quiet eddy - as in any place on the Boulder River!

Bumper Stickers for the times

Here are a few of my favorites, to date

My hero...George Bush

Tell it like it is, Mr Bush!

"borrowed from a patriot"...

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare.
I am an American.
I am a Master Mason and believe in God.
I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles and believe in American products.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized,
and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson that makes the Awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake, and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you!
So, shut up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here,
go back to where you came from and change your own country!
This is AMERICA ..We like it the way it is!
If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.
Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license.
I think it's good.. And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for
the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. Get a Job and do your part!
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

Pray for us

Psalm 2009

FIRST BOOK OF GOVERNMENT ..

Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free.
But I wish I was a dog ...
And Obama was a tree.

A contrast of the times...

Can America Survive?

Can America Survive?

Let’s take a look at where we came from and where we are today.

	AMERICAN HEREOS OF THE PAST		OUR LEADERS TODAY
	Sure, we want to go home. We want this war over with. The quickest way to get it over with is to go get the bastards who started it. The quicker they are whipped, the quicker we can go home. The shortest way home is through Berlin and Tokyo. And when we get to Berlin, I am personally going to shoot that paper hanging son-of-a-bitch Hitler. Just like I’d shoot a snake!” General George S. Patton		I’ve never said that troops should be withdrawn. What I’ve said is, is that we’ve got to make sure that we secure and execute the rebuilding and reconstruction process effectively and properly, and I don’t think we should have an artificial deadline when to do that.” President Barack Obama April 5, 2004
	In war there is no substitute for victory. General Douglas MacArthur		I believe myself that the secretary of state, secretary of defense and – you have to make your own decisions as to what the president knows – (know) this war is lost and the surge is not accomplishing anything as indicated by the extreme violence in Iraq yesterday” Sen. Harry Reid
	May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won’t. General George S. Patton		The secret authorization of brutal interrogations is an outrageous betrayal of our core values, and a grave danger to our security Barrack Obama
	On every occasion…[of Constitutional interpretation] let us carry ourselves back to the time when the Constitution was adopted, recollect the spirit manifested in the debates, and instead of trying [to force] what meaning may be squeezed out of the text, or invented against it, [instead let us] conform to the probable one in which it was passed. Thomas Jefferson		I think it’s a remarkable document; the original constitution, as well as Civil War amendments. But I think it is an imperfect document. And. I think it’s a document that reflects some deep flaws in American culture……. I have to side with Justice Breyer’s view of the Constitution—that it is not a static but rather a living document, and must be read in the context of an ever-changing world. Barack Obama
	I am for doing good to the poor, but I differ in opinion of the means. I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it. In my youth I traveled much, and I observed in different countries, that the more public provisions were made for the poor, the less they provided for themselves, and of course became poorer. And, on the contrary, the less was done for them, the more they did for themselves, and became richer. Benjamin Franklin		It’s not that I want to punish your success. I just want to make sure that everybody who is behind ‘ya, that they got a chance at success, too. I think that when you spread the wealth around; it’s good for everybody. Barack Obama
	“No free man shall ever be de-barred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain their right to keep and bear arms is as a last resort to protect themselves against tyranny in government. Thomas Jefferson		Almost all gun control legislation is constitutionally fine. And, if the court is right, then fundamentalism does not justify the view that the Second Amendment protects an individual right to bear arms. White House regulatory “czar” Cass Sunstein
	The freedom of speech may be taken away and dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep, to the slaughter.” George Washington		It should be clear by now that my focus here is not freedom of speech or the press. This freedom is all too often exaggeration. At the very least, blind references to freedom of speech or the press serve as a distraction from the critical examination of other communications policies.” FCC diversity czar -Mark Lloyd

The Recession is over!!!

The gross domestic product jumped 3.5% last quarter—the first increase in more than a year—sparking a stock rally and talk of the end of the Great Recession. No, no one has any jobs yet, but stop complaining!

The GDP numbers released this morning were better than expected, and were driven by a 3.4% increase in consumer spending. What this means is that everyone's expectations will be higher in the future about the strength and pace of the recovery, according to the Wall Street Journal:

"The data is suggesting that the economy does have some strength behind it, and that growth itself is going to be on the higher end of expectations," said Kent Engelke, chief economic strategist at Capitol Securities Management.

We're very happy for the economy and its excellent quarter. How did American human beings do last quarter? Let's have a look:

• Personal income decreased .5%, or $15.5 billion.
• Personal income taxes withheld increased $4.8 billion.
• Total personal spending increased .7%, or $20.4 billion
• Personal savings dropped 33% from the previous quarter.
• The number of new jobless claims last week was virtually unchanged from the previous week.

To recap: Your income decreased by $15.5 billion while your spending increased by $20.4 billion and your taxes increased by $4.8 billion, resulting in a 33% drop in "savings," which means the amount of money you have. And you still don't have a job. This recovery is going to be awesome.

Obama the slave owner

Obama Jr's American forebears were slave owners

Many people know that Democratic presidential candidate Obama Jr's father was from Kenya and his mother from Kansas. But, (quoting a Mar.2, 2007 report in the Baltimore Sun), "an intriguing sliver of his [Obama Jr.] family history has received almost no attention until now: It appears that forebears of his white mother owned slaves, according to genealogical research and census records.

" . . . The records could add a new dimension to questions by some who have asked whether Obama - who was raised in East Asia and Hawaii and educated at Columbia and Harvard - is attuned to the struggles of American blacks descended from West African slaves."

Obama Jr's African forebears were slave traders

In the 18th century, Muslim slavers moved into the interior of Kenya for the purpose of exploiting blood rivalries between local tribes. Muslims encouraged warring tribes, Obama Jr's Luo ancestors included, to capture "prisoners of war" and sell them into slavery.

Kenya tribe leaders, also exported slaves and ivory that had been exchanged by Africans from the interior for salt, cloth, beads, and metal goods. The slaves were then marched to the coast and shipped to Muslim Zanzibar (an island South of Kenya), to be traded again.

African slaves and ivory became hugely profitable and Zanzibar Muslims grew rich on the trade. Slave trading continued despite the public outrage in Europe demanding an end to all slave trade.

The British, eventually brought their forceful anti-slavery message directly to the Muslim Sultan.

After years of pressure, the Sultan finally relented and agreed to ban slavery in 1847. It was not until 1876, 11 years after the American Civil War had ended, that the sale of slaves was finally prohibited in Zanzibar.

Half white, half arab...

The O-man, Barack Hussein Obama, is an eloquently
tailored empty suit. No resume, no accomplishments,
no experience, no original ideas, no understanding of
how the economy works, no understanding of how the
world works, nothing but abstract empty rhetoric
devoid of real substance.

He has no real identity. He is half-white, which he
rejects. The rest of him is mostly Arab, which he
hides but is disclosed by his non-African Arabic
surname and his Arabic first and middle names as a way
to triply proclaim his Arabic parentage to people in
Kenya . Only a small part of him is African Black from
his Luo grandmother, which he pretends he is
exclusively.

What he isn't, not a genetic drop of, is
'African-American,' the descendant of enslaved
Africans brought to America chained in slave ships.
He hasn't a single ancestor who was a slave. Instead,
his Arab ancestors were slave owners. Slave-trading
was the main Arab business in East Africa for
centuries until the British ended it.

Let that sink in: Obama is not the descendant of
slaves, he is the descendant of slave owners.


His presidency is ridiculous and should not be taken
seriously by any thinking Black American.
__._,_.___

Ant vs Grasshopper

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER



This one is a little different...Two Different Versions...Two Different Morals

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video o f the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food..America
is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'

Rev. Jeremiah Wright then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake..

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborho

Clunkers take my breath away

A vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800 gallons a year of gasoline.

· A vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 480 gallons a year.

· So, the average clunker transaction will reduce US gasoline consumption by 320 gallons/vehicle
per year.

· The government claims 700,000 vehicles were traded in, so that's 224 million gallons / year.

· That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of oil.

· 5 million barrels of oil is about ¼ of one day's US consumption.

· And, 5 million barrels of oil costs about $350 million dollars at $75/bbl.

· So, we all contributed to spending $3 billion to save $350 million/year.

How good a deal was that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And in the process, the government (fed and state) gives up the gas tax revenue on that 224 million gallons/year.

Put out of business a lot of independent garages who fixed those clunkers; and saddled a lot of those 700,000 buyers with new car debt they could not afford and will not be able to pay..

Has forced up the price of affordable transportation to poorer people by removing these clunker cars from the used car market.

And many auto dealers are still waiting to be paid by the government.....many dealers had to forego participation in the midst of the program because they were merely carrying loans for the government.

And has anyone done the energy requirements necessary to assemble, transport and demolish 700,000 clunkers?!

Looks like Washington math to me.....

and these same Washington types want us to allow them to do health care.

Ships sitting at port

...makes me feel about the same way: just waiting to set sail again in a free, prosperous economy.

Read on:

http://offgridsurvival.com/ghost-fleet/

Flyin High With Oblahblah

With the economy teetering on the brink disaster, its time to look at what mode of transportation oblama uses...to fly the friendly skies:

The dollar - devalued...

What is the dollar, anyway? Why, the dollar is a scrap of paper, or an electronic impulse, the value of which is anchored by the analytical acuity of the monetary bureaucracy that failed to predict the greatest financial crackup since the 1930s.

Moron Legislators

Dear All 535 voting members of the Legislator.

It is now official: You are all morons.

The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775 - you have had 234 years to get it right; it is broke.

Social Security was established in 1935 - you have had 74 years to get it right; it is broke.

Fannie Mae was established in 1938 - you have had 71 years to get it right; it is broke..

War on Poverty started in 1964 - you have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor"; it hasn't worked.

Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965 - you've had 44 years to get it right; they're broke

Freddie Mac was established in 1970 - you have had 39 years to get it right; it is broke

Trillions of dollars in the massive political payoff called the TARP bill of 2009 shows NO sign of working.

And finally to set a new record:

"Cash for Clunkers" was established in 2009 and went broke in 2009! It took good dependable cars ( that were the best some people could afford ) replaced them with high priced ( people who couldn't afford to are now making payments ) mostly Japanese models so a good percentage of the profits, from the sales, went out of the country. And lastly, the American taxpayers are now going to be dinged with paying for yet 3 billion more dollars of our governments experiments to make our wallets even thinner.

So with a perfect 100% failure rate and a record that proves that "services" you shove down our throats are failing faster and faster, you want Americans to believe you can be trusted with a government-run health care system? 15% of our economy? Are you crazy?

Truly, the inmates are running the asylum! And what does this say about voters who put such pond scum in office? Maybe we need to let others in on this brilliant record before 2010 and just vote against incumbents.